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Dealing with the Loss of Your Baby
For those of you who have experienced the loss of a baby, may I firstly acknowledge your courage, and pass on my heartfelt condolences. I am speaking from personal experience, and realize the host of emotions coursing through your body at this difficult time. I don’t expect to ‘make it all better’, but rather hope to assist with an inclusion of different resources for you to find the support that you need during this time. For other parents, interested in this delicate topic, I have chosen to list the ‘more common’ reasons for the loss of a baby. I have thought long and hard about including this section in the website, but felt it was important to help those of you experiencing this situation. In many cases, it can be a part of the pathway to having the family you desire too. This is in no way a negative view, but rather a presentation of this delicate topic, for those of you who may need some information, and support.
Possible Causes of Baby Loss
The possible causes of baby loss are listed below. The list is not exhaustive, but the more common causes are listed below. Ectopic Pregnancy Miscarriage SIDS Pre eclampsia or eclampsia Placental abruption
Ectopic pregnancyAn ectopic pregnancy is one where the egg that is fertilized is implanted outside the womb. In the majority of cases, this will be a pregnancy that develops in one of the fallopian tubes. In rarer cases, it can be anywhere in the abdominal cavity or ovary. The reasons for ectopic pregnancies are varied, but include the possibility of damage to the fallopian tubes, where they may not be a ‘perfect’ tube, and there may either be narrowing, or even scar tissue from a previous surgery, or injury. In some cases, it is just ‘bad luck’ and no specific reason to expect it will occur again. Essentially, the walls of the tube contract in order to propel the egg down the tube, but in some cases, this process fails to complete, and the egg gets stuck in the tube. In some cases, the tubes can also be affected if the woman has had any sexual disease in the past as well.
How do you know if you have an ectopic pregnancy?The symptoms are unfortunately a little hard to diagnose, but there are some things you can look out for. In any case, as a general rule, I always advise you get in touch with your medical practitioner as soon as possible if you suspect anything at all, just to be sure. Prevention is always better than cure. The symptoms can be very similar to period pain, with abdominal cramping, and some bleeding (which should generally not occur in the 19th week of pregnancy, if all is well). The blood may be reddish, like an ordinary period, or brownish. It’s best to get checked out by a medical professional as soon as possible. Another symptom is if the pain is present on one side, more than the other. Some women may find they have a little diahrrhea and pain during a bowel movement as well. In the worst case, the fallopian tube can burst, thus ‘sending’ the contents through the abdominal cavity. Apart from having a burst tube, this can also create serious infection. I am not trying to scare you, but rather ensure you are armed with the facts.
What treatments are available?The best way to determine the state of affairs is to have an ultrasound scan. The only time this may be ineffective, is if the pregnancy is only a few days old. A blood test is another, more accurate measurement, as the blood will have different hormonal chemicals in it. In less severe cases, one form of treatment is one or more doses of methotrexate, which is a chemicals that prevents the cells from dividing. There is also surgery, which sometimes is the only option, but should only be used if there is no other option (in my opinion). Where to Find Out More?
More information is available on the following ectopic pregnancy site.
Miscarriage
Miscarriage is able to be defines as the spontaneous loss of a pregnancy before the 24th week, when the baby could then survive.
Miscarriage can occur to anyone, and is believed to occur to around 50% of women, many times, even before the egg implants itself in the womb. Typically, if a pregnancy will miscarry, it will be in the first fourteen weeks. Sometimes, the reason for the miscarriage is chromosomal, and the body ‘senses’ tht something is wrong. An example of this is when the chromosomes do not cross over correctly from the sperm to the egg, and at a certain point in the baby’s development, if the required gene is missing, the pregnancy can not continue. At this point, a miscarriage occurs. Other factors affecting miscarriage are the health of the mother. Smoking, and lifestyle can affect the mother’s overall health, in addition to the age of the mother. An older woman is more likely to miscarry than a younger one. The most common symptom of a miscarriage is bleeding- particularly a heavy bleed like that of a period. A very small and short spell of blood during a pregnancy does not automatically mean a miscarriage, but it should be checked of course. Should a miscarriage occur, there are different courses of action, including regular monitoring, but allowing nature o take its course. Some women will prefer a more invasive technique, where drugs are taken to help compress the womb, to expel the remaining tissue, and in some cases, surgery is needed. More information is available on the miscarriage site here Summary for Baby Loss and Overcoming Your GriefThis page has been written to give you an introduction into most common causes for baby loss. I realise there are no easy answers to the experineces you are going through, but fekt that it was important to provide you with some information. There are support groups for you, and one website that lists these quite comprehensively is at BabyLoss.
I have also included a link to a website on relaxation as it is important to be kind to yourself, and relaxation can help you also deal more ably with the circumstances of your life. I trully hope this page has been a help to you, and an asset to your grief managment and being able to be at peice with yourself.
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